I’m back….
The Bulimia has been under control for a while now so much so that I have got ridiculously fat!
So tomorrow it’s begins! Weight loss… Exercise and feeling better about myself, I’m uncomfortable I’m fat I’m in a 14 when I was comfortably down to a 10! Time to get my head back in the game!
Wish me luck 😘
I feel so physically and mentally drained right now! I literally wish I could spend a week in bed sleeping!!!! I wish I felt normal and energetic! Feeling very sorry for myself
Put on so much weight and I’m trying so hard but just feel fat and gross ive done about 10 days no purging and I feel like shit! I know it’s better for me but feeling like the Michelin man ain’t the one!
I just wanna cry be sick and take a million laxatives to rid me of this mess ive become…
I’ve been so awful at blogging this week! It’s been a tough week, mia is out of control and every part of my body is suffering because of it! I literally ache and my head feels like it’s in a vice! I’m gonna try super hard this week! I feel so fat and gross it’s horrible… Actually hate what I see when I look in the mirror
Think it’s time to fast for a little while! I can’t cope with the headaches that purging brings on at the moment! My head literally feels like it’s gonna explode! It hurts so so so much! Although I think it’s a mixture of purging and anxiety! Oh to feel “normal” again….
Like I do every Sunday! I’m sat telling myself this week will be different, I’ll get up tomorrow eat healthily all day, do an hour in the gym and go to bed with a day free of purging and laxatives! And I’ll probably get up tomorrow and do all of that… But it’ll get to 4-5pm I’ll have a packet of crisps followed by something ridiculously unhealthy for dinner and the circle will begin! As soon as my last mouthful hits my stomach I’ll be in the bathroom stickin my fingers down my throat until my stomach is empty of everything and then I’ll swallow 6 laxatives before bed incase Ive left anything behind! I hate this sooo much! New mindset needed…
Got up feeling very flat today! Dunno what’s wrong with me just not feelin myself! Bad nights sleep, hip pain and a headache from hell! Probably the main reason why! And then I’ve eaten far too much, have attempted purging but my stomach hurts soooo soooo much! So it’s bed with 8 laxatives and nil by mouth tomorrow! I hope my mood lifts tomorrow!
Soooo… I suffer with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis! And one of the side affects to that is joint, muscle pain and arthritis! With the weather bein sooo cold it’s worse than ever so I’ve been put on strong painkillers! So far I have not eaten a thing today just coffee and water… I reckon if I can go a few days like this then I’ll be able to get back into the habit of not eating and then I won’t need to purge! It’s an awful way to look at it but at the moment it seems to be the best way!
I’m suffering quite badly with nightmares at the moment and my headaches are unbearable (common when purging is at its worst)! I can’t wait to go to sleep where my body is so drained but at the same time I’m fearful and anxious of my dreams! I quite often wake up sweating and literally paralysed by fear! I’ve woken myself screaming and have woken in tears! I love bedtime but this is killing
it…
Does anyone else experience this with Mia?
The last week has defo taken its toll my body is weak, my face puffy, my knuckles raw and my head in pieces! I wish I could block the voice out I wish I could eat and not feel plagued with guilt or the nausea that automatically appears now every time I eat something I know I shouldn’t! It’s like my stomach has an automatic dislike to calories and fat!
I pray to be free of Mia and the hold she has over me but my need to be skinny is so much more!
bulimicbatgirl's Blog 