Healthy mindset??? Helpful reading

Today like most days I’ve woken up feelin positive that I can resist binging and stick strictly to shakes! I’m hopin today will be better as I’m gonna be out alot of it so bein busy will hopefully help!

I’ve been reading through a lot of other people’s post and I’m surprised by how many people suffering with an ED self harm too, I used to self harm when I was around 15-16 but scared myself one time and never went back! I suppose it’s a lot to do with bein in control of something! I know part of my bulimia is something I’m in control of when everything else around me is a mess as well as feeling disgustingly fat! It’s helped reading some of the blogs on here! Having an ED can be very lonely and I feel very isolated at times but reading and knowing there are people out there that experience and feel the same as I do is refreshing I used to think I was a “freak” because no one understands it but it’s good to know so many other people feel the same way!

I’ll let you know how today goes!

Day 2… Of failing

I have been tryin soooo hard I manage till about 2pm and then it all goes to pot! I just don’t wanna be fat again or fatter than I am now! I’ve got the worst headache from purging today and feel rubbish! I’ve just taken 8 laxatives so that its all gone tomorrow! I hate this feelin of guilt for bein sick but the guilt after eating is so much more unbearable! Does it ever end?

Failing miserably

Soooo having seen family over the Christmas period and bein told by a couple that I look as though I’ve put on weight the ire to binge and purge has been more intense that ever! I’ve spent the last 2 days gorging then purging seconds after! I hate this… Wish I had the will power to do it the correct way… Even back to using laxatives for anything I didn’t manage to throw up!

Day 1

Hey… So Im not sure why I’m really doing this but guess it’s somewhere I can explain my thoughts and how I’m feeling! I’ve always had bulimia for as long as o can remember but never to this extent before… The last year it’s taken over my life! Day by day it’s got worse and the urge to purge is constant! But I’m ready to try and turn my life around and get back on track and lose weight in a healthy way… The last month ive begun to notice the damage it’s causing to my body and the pain in my stomache is becoming unbearable! Sooo tomorrow my life changes… Well begins to, tomorrow I’m taking charge and tryin my hardest to be healthy and not this mess my body has become…. This is really all about my journey to what hopefully will be my recovery…..